RSS Feed for This PostCurrent Article

Imitation of Carver 2

Contemplating Carver,
Lines breaking and reforming
In my head as I slow cook eggs,
Browning in butter, sizzling in the skillet.
Steam rises from my coffee cup, the red one on the sideboard,
Lilly’s muzzle dripping as she raises her head
From her bowl, snuffling.
She smiles, red tongue lolling in black furred face.
On a quiet morning
The slow whirring of the fan,
The rattle of the jalousie panes,
White noise from outside to inside my head.
“Put it all in, make use”, he whispers
As the toaster pops.

Carver speaks to me in a quiet, intimate voice. I tried to recreate that voice as I made breakfast, freezing a moment in time to use as material for a poem in imitation of Carver’s style. I experimented with the line length several times, moving phrases back and forth in an attempt to use space to create a sense of rhythm. I used images designed to evoke the senses. Line Seven,
“From her bowl. Snuffling,…” is the line that gives me the most trouble. I’ve changed the punctuation here to “From her bowl, snuffling.” I begin to see how spacing and punctuation can make a dramatic difference in the poem’s effect on the reader.

Trackback URL



Post a Comment